10 Strategies to handle your baby's tantrums
They mount a tantrum for anything. They despair of parents, who do not know how to stop them. Here you will discover the golden decalogue to know how to react to your child's tantrums.
At two years old children discover the power of tantrums. They have proven that this attitude takes the elders out of their boxes and is proving their effectiveness. That is, they are a means to an end.
In those moments they only think about the rage they have. They may even have forgotten the reason why their anger started. But if something is clear at this age is that, although they do not know very well what they want, it will surely be the opposite of what they have.
When will the tantrums disappear?
It is a passing stage. Over time, the tantrums will be mitigated and spaced more and more.
The most surprising thing about tantrums is not the frequency (sometimes, daily) or how soon they appear (sometimes, before the child starts to talk). The most striking is the impetus that the little ones put into them. They still do not control their emotions, and they still do not know the inhibition, so they emberrinchan in a big way. Therefore, it is good that although tantrums do not disappear, at least they reduce in intensity.
At this age they still do not tolerate frustration and find it difficult to understand that they can not always have what they want. If they are also unable to verbalize what they want, the result is the ideal formula for the tantrum to take place. For that reason, that these reactions disappear does not depend only on that they obtain what they want or not. They will diminish when they see that they have no effect on their parents, and especially when they can tolerate frustration and express in words what they can only express with tantrums up to now.
What can parents do until then?
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1. Stand firm
Of course, it is much easier to say than done, but according to psychologists, it is the most infallible strategy. For starters, because it helps to make it clear that your tantrum will not lead you to get what you want. But it is essential that the father himself believes that he controls the situation. Maybe for a while the child continues to put them into practice, but in most cases you will realize that the formula does not work for you and you will end up leaving it.
2. Short explanations
If you try to explain to a child immersed in a real attack of anger why your reaction is unfair, most likely he will lie on the ground crying and kicking incessantly.
The reason is that in those moments the only thing he hears is his own crying, so it is difficult to make us understand in those circumstances. Phrases like "no candy because you just eat" or "if you do not sleep, tomorrow you'll be tired to play" said when you start the tantrum can serve to avoid anger. The child will understand them without problems and if they are not yet sufficiently altered, they can dissuade him.
3. Do not respond with anger
Responding with a tantrum is a way to encourage them: we will be giving them the best excuse to start a small number of anger at any time, since for children their parents are their reference models and they love imitating everything we do. It is also important not to remain angry with him forever. After a few minutes, you will not know why dad and mom frowned. Her tantrum has already passed, and maybe she does not even remember her.
4. Not lending to the game
The best way to fight tantrums is to ensure that they do not appear. And for this it is convenient to anticipate possible problems. For example: one of the places where there are usually more tantrums is the supermarket, so you have to be warned. It is good to make everything clear before entering: move forward that you are only going to buy milk, bread and eggs, and nothing else. Then, once inside, we can let him participate in the purchase by taking the things that are going to be bought (the smallest, of course) and putting them in the basket. That way you will be distracted and feel useful, which will prevent other temptations.
5. Choose between two options
Most of the time your anger will come from wanting something you can not have. Hence, it helps a lot to avoid it by letting him choose only between two options. If you ask "what do you want for dessert?", The range of options that opens up before the child is infinite, and not always to the taste of adults. However, if you are given the choice between only two options, both valid, it is more than likely that everything remains calm. Asking "Do you want a banana or do you prefer a yogurt?", You close the possible options without him noticing. And we will not have to say "no".
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6. Try to listen
Once the tantrum has started, the little one seems beside himself. To calm him down and make him understand that he can not be, there is only one option: try to get him out of that state and make him listen to us. For this, dad or mom can kneel in front of him, hold him by the shoulders firmly and look at him until he fixes his eyes on those of the adult. Then it will be time to speak calmly.
7. Instead of a no, two yeses
Many times tantrums are signs of rebellion. That is why it is common that every time he is told not to do something, he tries to do it. But if there are two "yess" after a "no", things change. One thing is being forbidden, but allowing two others. Thus, if after telling him that he can not paint on the wall, he is told that if he can paint on the cardboard or play in the park, his rebellion may subside.
8. Change the scenario
Sometimes, they themselves will not know how to end their own tantrum. It is beneficial to change places: leave them in the arms of the space in which they are and go to another more open. At the same time the walk can distract your attention and make you focus on something else.
9. That's the way you do not talk
We must warn him that we will only listen to him when he speaks in a normal tone, without shouting or crying, because otherwise it is impossible to understand him. It is a good technique to explain to him that when he cries like that nobody can listen to him, so we do not know what he wants.
10. Let it calm down alone
Children also have the right to let off steam, so sometimes it is even positive that they go through a tantrum. When he is immersed in an attack of fury, he can be told: "Well, you are angry, let me know when it happens," and then move away from him a little. He will be aware that we care about what happens to him and that he will not get anything by putting himself like that.